29 radiation treatments....

1 left. Today went off without a hitch. It was our last day with Dr. Rose (Connor's anaesthesiologist, we will miss him very much).

I wrote this excerpt about radiation treatment a few days after Connor had just started. It seems so long ago.

Radiation Treatment: The Ride of your life

Our family got in line on October 19th 2009.
We didn't choose to get in line
There was no option to go around.
I wanted to raise my hand to get out of line, but everyone had their hand raised and it did not seem to matter.

"Excuse me", I asked the family in front of us,
"Do you know how we can get around ?"
"There is no way around," they said. "We all must wait."

"Maybe we could trade with someone," I offered.
"Trust me, there is no one who wants to volunteer to stand in this line," They said.

On our way towards the front of the line I saw a roller coaster and a big sign that read:
WARNING You may experience the following emotions: Loss, Grief, Anger, Pain, Helplessness, Sadness and many others.

As I waited to get on the ride my knees began to buckle, I felt like I had been waiting in line forever. I felt nauseous and lightheaded. I wanted to scream, and cry and bang my fists on the floor. I didn't want to get on this ride. It really wasn't fair.

So many people came to talk to me while I waited in line, but I was deaf to their words. Many people offered to stand by my side, and even though they couldn't ride with me they eased my fears.

As we were seated I trembled with fear. I was so scared of the unknown. The roller coaster took off. The first climb was the scariest, we didn't know what to expect. After we navigated a few turns it got easier. The highs were full of excitement, happiness, and joy. The lows were frightening, unbearable, and exhausting.

As we got closer to the end I felt such comfort, and relief. The ride took us places we have never been before. The ride was turbulent, but there were also times that we actually enjoyed the ride.

We finally made our way to the end. We had some bumps and bruises, but we survived. We stepped off empowered, Brave, Strong, Thankful and full of Hope.